Self-care is not weakness – it is being human.

Nancy White

Self-care is not weakness. It is being human says our guest Nancy White, an entrepreneur of 35 years. It is being accountable to ourselves first and foremost. Not yo-yo diets, but more of the sustainable, healthy lifestyle with choices will keep you well as you age, mature and weather each season. Everybody needs to be lifted and acknowledged for the good things they’re doing. The power of negativity should not ever go unnoticed or taken for granted. This matters because it takes seven positives for every one negative that we either speak to ourselves or somebody speaks to us. We are impacted by what see on the news, or we hear.

It is crucial for our wellness to counterbalance the negatives we encounter.  We could look for the good things, we can look for the positive things and we want to build each other up. As we come alongside and we lock arms, we are there for each other. Exercise and physical activities are huge, not only for your body, but also for your mind. Women need to make time to be well, to support each other, for nurture and for self-care.

It is just as important for men, especially to be able to have something that combats the effects of stress.  Men are coming together and supporting each other and seeking out those places where there is a healthy way to be able to get built back up and have stress release.

Turning to the next generation, Nancy White sees well-being as way to teach, help support young people in making good, better, and best choices.  Nancy leaves us with some practical tips.

Even if it’s just a quick little text or just a phone call, people need it and you have no clue what’s going on in their lives.  If we get to wake up and have a brand-new day, we should do the things that are good for you.

Nancy left TesseTalks feeling truly stroked, truly soothed, truly informed.

Nancy started in her entrepreneurial journey thirty-five years ago after leaving corporate America. She has started several businesses. Some have flopped, some she sold, some have blossomed, but she has never stopped learning.

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00:00:00 Paula: Welcome to “TesseTalks” with your host Tesse Akpeki and co-host Paula Okonneh, where we share with you top leadership and management strategies. This is a journey of discovery. We are learning that leadership is personal and professional, and we hope you our listeners will walk with us in this adventure. Our guest today is Nancy White, who will be talking about wellbeing and supporting others to have confidence. So in other words she’s going to be talking about well-being and confidence builders. I’ll tell you about Nancy. First and foremost, Nancy lives in North Carolina. Whew. I lived there so I’m partial. But Nancy wants to live in a world where people will thrive and not just survive both physically and financially. In her business, she assists health conscious adults in creating the healthy lifestyles that they can tweak as they age. She also provides resources and connections to help businesses scale and add additional income streams, Nancy started in her entrepreneurial Journey thirty-five years ago after leaving corporate America. And since that time she has started several businesses. Some have flopped, some she sold some have blossomed, but she has never stopped learning. And so we welcome Nancy White to “TesseTalks”.

00:01:37 Nancy: Thank you so much, Paula. Thank you Tesse for allowing me to be here with you beautiful ladies today.

00:01:44 Tesse: I love the word beautiful. Beauty within and beauty without. And Nancy I’m so delighted that you can come to join Paula and I on “TesseTalks”. One of the joys of meeting you is to hear and to see your passion for wellbeing and resilience. And I’m curious to hear your thoughts about the importance of resilience, wellness, and wellbeing.

00:02:08 Nancy: Well Tesse is one of those things that as we continue to age, and that’s our goal is that we want to continue to age with just that grace and resilience, because we all go through those tests and those trials of life. We cannot live here and be here without experiencing the ups and the downs. It’s, every single day is a brand new day, a brand new beginning. It doesn’t matter where we are we want to have hope and we want to give other people a chance because in the, especially this day in time, we have all the negative and all the things that are going on. And yes, it’s true but, you know what? We could look for the good things we can let for the positive things, and we want to build each other up. And so that’s where we come alongside and we just lock arms and are there for each other.

00:03:06 Tesse: I’m feeling soothed on that note that Nancy is just sung right now.

00:03:10 Paula: Well, Nancy has started so many businesses that’s how I got to know her. But on the topic of wellbeing and resilience, you’ve told us some of the benefits, can you expand and expound on those.

00:03:22 Nancy: Expand and expound. Well, I’m very holistic, Paula, it’s healthy mind, body and spirit. You have to nurture all three of those areas every day, because without something falls behind and something is lacking. We are creatures, we are physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. And I think for people just can stop and just be able to do an assessment, where they are today. There’s areas that they need to be able to tweak or to be able to help strengthen or build back up. Then that’s what we do, we want to be able to help people individually find out what it is that they may be having some struggles with, and then give some suggestions. Because I don’t know about any of you, nobody likes to be told what to do. We like to become educated and have choices on the things that we can do. And the other thing is we know that every action has a reaction. We just don’t sit back and just expect things to happen. That’s when it comes to self care, it’s called self care. I can’t do anything for you, you can’t do anything for me. I have to take my own actions in my own self care. But it is my responsibility if I’m lacking in an area to reach out. And that’s one thing, I think a lot of us women we don’t do. We don’t ask for help, and then if we do ask, we need to receive it and then we have to take those actions.

00:05:02 Paula: Amen to that sister. You have to receive it and then you have to take action. Yeah.

00:05:09 Tesse: I love that, and I know there’s men on the call as well. They’re not doing so well in COVID are they? Because they’re not asking for help. What are you seeing as you encounter the men? Women we know notorious for not doing self care sometimes.

00:05:25 Nancy: And I think for the men Tesse, that’s one of the things you’re right. Cause I was raised with three brothers and they all go, I’m good, I’m good you know, everything’s good. But for men, when we look back, you know, anxiety and stress in America, stress was associated with six top killers. Well, since the COVID has come along is now one out of two people are having to go through anxiety, especially with children. But for men, I think I had just seen even some men coming together and supporting each other, which is huge. Women we can just get together to vent and be able to talk and not gossip. I think it was great to have outlets, be able to seek each other out to help. But you’re correct, men have a little bit more challenging time. And I guess they’re going to be getting back on the golf course because that’s where men do a lot of their outlets and talking and going through some information is when they’re doing something that could be a little competitive. But, you know, it’s just as important for men, especially to be able to have something that combats the effects of stress, we all have it. There’s good stress and bad stress, that for men, I think seeking out those places where there is a healthy way to be able to get built back up, to have that stress release. Exercise and physical activities are huge, not only for your body, but also for your mind. And so I think that something for men also, it’s not weakness, It is being human.

00:07:05 Tesse: I love it. Being human, being human. Wow.

00:07:10 Paula: It’s not weakness, it’s being human. Yep. Similarly to you Tesse, I love that phrase. So Nancy, as we’re talking about this, I mean talking about men. I wanted to ask if you have any stories about men who, you mentioned that a lot more men are coming together to support each other. And so I was wondering if you had any stories about how wellness has helped anyone that you know, or if not that you know of any men coming together to support each other?

00:07:46 Nancy: I have noticed, Paula, that usually if they’re married, the wife is the one that is, I love my big fat Greek wedding. You know, the mammy, the happened the life is the net. Usually it is the woman that is bringing those things in for their family or for their husbands. And most times most men will watch their wives and make sure that they are going to live so they can tell they’re the Guinea pigs. And so then the men may get on board, but usually something that the wife has brought in. Now some men do, they’ve had a scare, they’ve had something that’s been close to them, whether it’s a brother or a dear friend or whatever that has gone through some challenges. And that’s like an eye opener or a wake up call because we all go along as long as things are going smooth. It’s with the perceived rockiness is coming along or the Dr. Paul may just say, you know what, if you don’t make some changes, then this is probably an outcome that you’re headed for. So men and that are those forward thinkers. They’re sitting there thinking, you know what, I love helping people to have that little visualization. If you can make some tweaks, just small things that can increase your longevity by five years or longer, what would you have missed if you hadn’t been here for the last five years? That’s an eye-opener and that’s a wake up call.

00:09:25 Tesse: That is so, so powerful. Nancy, I love the fact that you’re really practical. And if we take care of each other, take care of ourselves, what is different in our lives? What is made possible when we do some of these things that you’re sharing with us.

00:09:42 Nancy: Tesse, that’s one of the great things that are possible are sounder sleep, recovery sleep, taking care of your body physically, emotionally, mentally, they all have to come together. But what’s possible is not only we get to experience the blessing and the difference of great energy, stamina, our brains working. When we’ve walked into a room we remember why we’re there. Having those great fun things about just not only ourselves, but then the people that love us and the people that are in our lives that we’re serving as part of the families they benefit also, and the people that we’re serving in our businesses. Oh my goodness. They’re getting the best of us and not just, you know, the barely getting by. And so it’s that domino effect, we are first and foremost, received the benefits and then potentially can increase our longevity, having better quality of life, but also everybody around us they’re also reaping those benefits. And if you’re raising children, then they are getting trained in a healthy lifestyle and not the whole perceived idea of jumping from one diet to another diet, seeing something. But teaching a healthy lifestyle again. The importance of releasing the things we have no control over because we will get anxiety built up and stress built up over things that we really don’t have a responsibility for. So teaching those next generations the way to help make them good, better, best choices, not perfect. But you know what? We’re being accountable to ourselves first and foremost. And as a believer, I look at this as a temporary temple, which is waiting for our permanent maintenance free one, but it’s more important than it’s fireproof and so. But we’re teaching these young generations, these next generations about what a healthy lifestyle looks like. And yes, not perfect, we’re under progress.

00:11:56 Tesse: Wow. Paula, what do you think?

00:12:01 Paula: Another great quote. Not perfect, but under progress. I love it because the future is not ours, but as we are here on earth, we are all believers on this. We know that we have to teach our children how to live while we are still here while they are still here. So I like your idea of not a yo-yo diets, but more of the sustainable, healthy lifestyle with choices that will keep them well as they age or mature or season, as I like to say.

00:12:38 Tesse: Season is a good word. Paula, Nancy mentioned to me TP, and she said, it’s not toilet paper. And she said, it’s all going to be revealed when we speak. I have been parched with anticipation what TP means. Nancy, can you enlighten me?

00:12:57 Nancy: Yes. And you know what Tesse, if we can help people to laugh and the joy of the Lord is our strength. Laughing is so healing. When you talk to people about TP, especially in this country over the last year, you know, everybody’s thinking toilet paper. “TP” is touch and praise and every single person needs to be touched, whether we can physically touch. I can’t touch you and Paula physically, but I can send you love and just touch you in a different way. But people, especially if you are around other people, they need to have that little touch on the back. Everybody right now is wary of hugging and shaking hands. But you know what? You can touch somebody on the back and pat them for women and husbands, this is something that I heard years ago. If you’re just driving along, you can just pat your husband on the leg and just say, you know what? I’m so grateful for you, I’m grateful for the things that you’re doing that touch is huge, huge. And so praise, everybody needs to be lifted up and acknowledged for the good things they’re doing. I mean, especially for children too. And I know that it takes seven positives for every one negative that we either speak to ourself or somebody speaks to us, or we see on the news, or we hear to counterbalance that negative. The power of negativity should not ever go unnoticed or taken for granted. So that touch and praise is huge Tesse. Every single day, I pray, Lord who do you want me to connect with today? Who do you want me to remember? Whose path do you want me to cross? Who do you want me to reach out to? Even if it’s just a quick little text or just a phone call, because people need it and you have no clue what’s going on in their lives. But the power of TP, touch and praise and just get into a habit of helping somebody to have some TP every day.

00:15:04 Tesse: You’ve lightened me, Nancy. Paula I knew that I would come away taking something. So TP, not toilet paper, but touch and praise. That’s brilliant. I’m going to hand over to you now Paula.

00:15:14 Paula: I wondered if she had any last thoughts for our listening audience.

00:15:19 Nancy: Oh, the last thoughts are, if we get to wake up and have a brand new day, then I really want to encourage people to do the things that are good for them. Everybody knows their own foundations, what it is, and it could be different. It is different for everybody. For like myself, Paula, it’s having my quiet time, my exercise ad my nutrition my jet fuel. And I get to be 69 next month, and so if God keeps me going, then you know what I want to keep on going and doing the very best I can. And people don’t have to just drag by and get by, they can thrive.

00:15:59 Tesse: I’m surprised because for people listening in, I’m looking at Nancy, I thought she was 40. So I mean, I want what you are on and what you have. I want it, yeah. Celebrating Nancy, that’s what I call it.

00:16:16 Paula: Yes, Nancy. I mean, I’ve known her for years and she hasn’t aged a day since I met her. In fact, I was telling someone, not about you, but another person who I said the same thing. I was like, if anything and whatever you’re doing makes you every time I see you, you look a year younger than your actual age. So when Nancy, I’ve known you for 18 years, you look 18 years younger than when I met you.

00:16:40 Nancy: Oh, Paula, thank you so much. Indeed, it’s just, we’re going to do our best and God’s going to do the rest.

00:16:46 Paula: Amen.

00:16:48 Tesse: Amen. Oh, I’m feeling truly stroked, truly soothed, truly informed. Thank you, Nancy, thank you so much.

00:16:59 Nancy: Thank you ladies so much for having me just to spend some time with you. You both are doing so much and using your gifts and talents that you’re sharing with other people. And thank you for allowing me to be with you. Thank you.

00:17:12 Paula: Absolutely. Make sure you head over to Apple podcasts, Google podcasts, Spotify, and anywhere else, where you listen to podcasts and please click subscribe. If you like what you’re hearing on “TesseTalks”, please write us a raving review. And if you have questions or topics you would like us to cover related to leadership or governance, send us a note. Remember your notes can be personal as well as professional. And last but not least. If you want to be a guest on the show, head over to “tesseakpeki.com/tessetalks” to apply.

00:17:52 Paula: Thank you again, Nancy.

00:17:54 Tesse: Thank you, Nancy, it’s been great speaking with you.

00:17:58 Nancy: Thank you.