“I can choose to react or respond to a situation. Whatever I choose has consequences which may have a positive and negative impact. Success is reframing how I see the world and taking more responsibility and accountability for my actions”, Joel White shares as he relates to the myths and realities surrounding Men’s Mental Health.
Men tend to be very external in dealing with problems. A man will usually find themselves indulging in risky behaviours such as alcohol, gambling, sex, drugs, rock and roll. Women, tend to turn inwards on themselves through negative comments, negative thought patterns, self-harm, high levels of self-doubt, anxiety and depression.
Men between the ages of 40-45 are more likely to take their own lives.
A lot of men have a notion is based on external factors. External validation is beyond control of any man. The only thing a man has control over is how they choose to react or respond to situations, individuals and events around them. Success is their ability to navigate that situation and learn from it whatever the outcome.
It’s not about the nail (a viral video)
A common communication breakdown occurs in gender dynamics. One partner is focusing on a superficial problem the nail, while ignoring the deeper emotional need, for connection, to be listened to , validated or supported rather than fixed. The woman vents about a nail in her head, but her partner keeps trying to “fix” it by suggesting solutions, missing that she just wants empathy, not a solution to be the physical nail.
In essence when someone says, “It’s not about the nail, “ they’re saying, stop trying to solve my problem, just hear me out.
Myths and Realities
Men and women are different. The question is how can we embrace the differences and leverage the best of our differences and similarities to best effect? We are wired differently and that is a good thing. Men and women deal with trauma differently, resolve things in different ways, confront crises differently. Once there is greater awareness and understanding about moving in spaces in healthier ways , bringing more clarity, taking ownership and being present, things usually turn out for the better
About Joel White
With a background in education across China, Hong Kong & Korea, Joel transitioned into the Mental Health & Wellbeing sector, founding BMS Wellbeing in 2015 with the principle: “Keep it whole—Body, Mind & Soul.” His extensive experience in coaching, workshops & seminars has equipped countless individuals & organisations with practical tools for growth. Joel, recognising the transformative power of the Reset-it programme, evolved it into Rewired for Men.