Business psychotherapist Naomi Shragai in “The Man who Mistook his job for his life‘ reminds us the importance of not confusing our professional present with our personal past. The book comes at a time when the fast nature of work demands even more of our psychological strength. We all need emotional maturity to navigate the insecurities and setbacks that inevitably arise. Holding a microscope to issues that cause us problems, pain and anxiety such as imposter syndrome, fear of conflict, professionalism and anxiety we are better equipped to transform how we think about ourselves and our working life. We unconsciously re-enact our personal past in our professional present even when it holds us back. We replay and re-enact conflicts, dynamics and relationships from our past. We can confuse an authority figure with a parent, we can avoid conflict because of the pain squabbles with siblings or suffer with imposter syndrome because of the way our family responds to success. When it comes to work we can be trapped in our own upbringings and the patterns of behaviour we learned while growing up. Tolerating strong and uncomfortable feelings, having the insight to distinguish past from present and the courage and imagination to adapt our response to new circumstances leaves us better equipped to succeed in our career. This is a riveting book with great insights, practical tips, great questions, memorable, interesting and moving human stories. Naomi invites us to explore paranoia, envy, seeds of irrational conflict, dealing with bullies, tyrants, control freaks, narcissists and knowing when to run. The inbuilt tension is made explicit “there is an intolerance for feelings, a belief we should keep them to ourselves and be professional. Work wants our ‘good’ feelings but doesn’t allow for our emotional nourishment”. She tenderly encourages us to change our narrative by being curious, honest and objective. Self examination can identify the source of our wrong thinking. Our past should not colour our reading of current events. Perspectives are vital. We can get better at tuning into our emotions, expressing, addressing and understanding them . We are indeed gifted with tips to thrive at work, integrating the different parts of ourselves and leaving our emotional baggage, replacing these with habits and mindsets that will better serve us. While stressing the need for personal awareness and insight, it must be translated into change and action leaving us with a future that creates a life that is uniquely ours.
