Listen , how to find the words for tender conversations, is a powerful book about life, death, relationships, mental heath and how to talk about what matters. It is an incredible guide towards connection. Kathryn Mannix masterfully captures of power of listening. When I am listened to, I experience being held with wisdom and kindness where deeply tender conversations are transformational and reflect my experience of setbacks, difficulties and unanticipated outcomes. Both the listener and listened are enriched by the experience as they build the jigsaw one piece at a time. Strong, connected and engaged teams create shared perspective and vision, allowing for inclusivity and diminishing reactivity. As a team member I am better able to separate myself from the person and the problem and not become part of it. I find myself saving energy and being impartial with increased wisdom to limp over the hot coals of my mistakes and acknowledge the anger of unmet expectations, recognising where I have made unwise choices. Tenderness shows up as a virtue that requires strength as I remain alongside others who are experiencing emotional storms. Listen offers the invitation of listening, of being open to changing my world, demonstrating conscious of how I show up in the world and masterfully communicating with myself and others.. Masterful communication is borne out of more intentional listening, helping others in their growth, broadening my capacity to learn, grow and to better communicate with an increased commitment to change. I find that I bring my attention to the present with helpful questions, tender listening and a gentle way to get alongside someone in distress. With curiosity I come not as a problem-solver but as a person prepared to share uncertainty and support others in distress. Superior listening enables me to make space for suffering, to walk alongside others to process their distress – an important component of support and care. Suffering is not judged, discouraged or minimised. – As an effective listener I understand the depth of their sorrow. In the listening spaces I may not be able to make it better, .but I can hold space for healing, comfort and repair. Reconciliation becomes the place of restored friendship in a relationship of love. Collectively we become a community where we are able to tell and hear each others stories and expanded hearing changes people, We consider when we should call for help either for the other person or for ourselves. Powerful stories offer a style guide; a set of skills to recognise in, or add to our repertoire Together we can rethink our roles is in the conversation. l tell myself I am truly here to listen, to understand, nothing more and I hold that sacred space with courage, braveness and care. Kathryn Mannix has written a wonderful master piece.
